Goodbye Addiction Letters

“Dear Dilaudid, Xanax, and Ativan,”

“Before we met I was a loving and caring person. I was thoughtful and led an honest life. I was an apprentice in the Elevator Constructors Union and was working hard towards becoming a journeymen mechanic. I had just gotten married to an amazing woman, bought a house, and was ready to start a new family with a bright future ahead.”

“The first time Dilaudid and I met was in San Francisco General Hospital in the Emergency room after my major auto accident. You were given to me in many doses through IV for my head trauma. I remember that first dose, that roller coaster feeling that came across my body, that instant relief of pain, and the feeling that I could do anything. It was amazing and a completely out of body experience. At that time I did not know our relationship would progress. I knew I liked the feeling, but did not expect to have it once I left the hospital. As some time went on, my lower back began to hurt and I wanted relief. I had known my mom was on pain management and I soon found out she took Dilaudid. Instead of seeing a doctor or looking for an alternative, I started stealing those pills from my mom. Eventually when she found out, she started giving them to me. I began chasing that high. I was soon hooked and the future looked good because I felt like I could accomplish anything.

“Everytime I took you I felt stronger, both physically and mentally. I was pain free and I felt like I could work even harder and think and focus more clearly. I though it made me a tougher person who could stand up to anything or anyone. You helped me get through the hard times of my apprenticeship.”

“As time went on, that chase of the high became more aggressive. I started using more and more. The more I used, the more I had to hide. I became obsessed, and that started my pattern of dishonesty. You turned me into a mean spirited, angry and resentful person. You made me emotionally numb and very selfish. My anxiety got so high that I soon began taking Xanex and Ativan to calm my nerves. My physical and mental health started deteriorating quickly. I had become an insane person.

“You drugs tried to take my life a handful of times. You caused me to treat my wife and kids horribly to the point that I almost lost them for good. My addiction created so much family wreckage that it will now take years to clean up. You eventually caused me to be so depressed that I couldn’t even get out of bed. No matter how much I took, you no longer made it better. You quit working for me.”

“When I tried to quit you, you made me feel so dope-sick that I ended up going back and using you even more. I have now decided to finally end my relationship with you. It was either you or my family. I have chosen my wife and kids over you. I have chosen to not be depressed and chosen to let go of the mean spirited (name.)”

“Today I have Fountain Recovery. I now have tools I can use to help me never go back to my addiction. Most importantly I now have God to help me and I have my loving wife and kids. I also have crossroads fellowship and people that help hold me accountable.”

“In closing, my new hopes and dreams consist of being happy, joyous, and free. I want to be a good husband and father. I want to be a rolemodel for my children. I want to live a long, healthy, and prosperous life.”

“Goodbye Forever.”

“Fountain Recovery Has Changed My Life. I Entered The Program With No Hope And Feeling Horrible About Myself. I Have Learned All The Tools Necessary To Live A Fantastic, Sober, Honest Life. I Am Beyond Happy I Made The Decision To Take The First Step And Get Treatment At Fountain.”

“Goodbye Alcohol & Xanax, Weed, Gambling etc.”

“Before we met I had a different life. One that I was able to be happy & free without the though of you in the picture. I had big dreams and high expectations of myself before you came along. I had a lot of friends, played sports, was funny, had good values. I didn’t need you to have a good time. You weren’t needed for confidence. But once I lost a dear friend, I felt alone and held a lot of regret.”

“I first met you around the age of 13. I didn’t think anything more than that you were an experiment. But then you showed me things that were just so amazing to me, that I couldn’t give you up. You brought out a side of me that I never knew. You gave me confidence. You made me popular. You gave me charisma. All these qualities I thought I didn’t have. When I lost my friend (name) you gave me false hope & strength. So I thought…”

“Instead you gave me a hole that I could never fill. Promises I could never keep. I lost trust from family. Lost great friends that I’m slowly getting back. Made me go to jail. So many things. It’s hard to remember what has happened. The last 10 years went by in a flash. I can barely remember the sober good times I had. You really set my life off track.”

“In the end you brought me to the brink of hopelessness. Not knowing what else to do, I called a dear friend and he turned me to the right direction & luckily I was willing to listen. I realized life isn’t so bad. And that I need to take sobriety one day at a time.”

“I’ve found a sponsor who cares about me & started working the steps. Kept myself away from shady people & places.. I need to hold on to these 93 days like my life depends on it.”

“I hope to start a family sometime in the near future with a strong ‘normie.’ Have a career which I love and stay sober. Be a man of God & go to church. That’s all I want.”

To the drugs & alcohol I used to love, Goodbye…You will not be missed.”